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Joined: 05 Nov 2009
Posts: 1

Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 5:36 pm    Post subject: New Here  Reply with quote

Hello everyone,

I am new to this forum and glad to be here getting to know some of you and having common ground.

I have suffered from this condition for a long time.  My previous relationship lasted for a few years.  He is a good man and have been friends since the breakup....we split about 5 years ago.  I have always loved him. When we were together we had sex other ways from intercourse. And that was mutually satisfying although deep in his heart he wanted to be able to penetrate me. We did try a few times but vag kicked in strong. I kept hoping that things would change but they didn't and we failed to communicate about this issue. Penetrating was a big issue and failed at it when he would attempt to. I felt that the issue of penetration would just blow over with enough attempts. But I was wrong. Eventually, we grew further and further apart.  

For instance if he went out for a drink he would tell perfect strangers about our intimate problems. That bothered me a lot and I would tell him. Even after that he still did tell others about our problems. He is a caring loving person and I know that he was in a great deal of emotional pain and this is how he managed to vent his frustrations.  It finally got to a point where we finally broke up.  I'll never forget that day,not only did we part ways but one of my aunts who I was very close to had just died.

I remember coming back to Toronto on my own and being a total emotional wreck. Actually I didn't even make it to my aunt's funeral.

For the past 5 years my ex has been living outside of the country. 2 years ago he came back here for a visit and we spent a few days together. Touching has always been important for him in the relationship not meaning in a sexual way but just holding each other.  

With this forum, I feel it will be so helpful in my journey to healing myself. I know now for myself that working with a therapist and dilators most likely would help a lot.

I know that my ex had been seeing other women..that didn't bother me. Recently he has been seeing someone that he cares about and that has bothered me.  Deep down I really did want to be together even for him to come up to Canada for a few months as he can do his work  here at times. I would want things to be better meaning that I would have dealt with my vag issues.  

My vag issues are connected to my father incesting me. As a result I have always had issues with  men and intercourse. If I do meet someone else and if it develops into a relationship I will be up front and ask him if he is willing to work with me through the process of working on my vag issues.  

As far as my ex goes we have been friends.  I still have strong feelings for him.  Lately I haven't talked much to him since he is involved with someone else. We have skyped in the past and as I was writing this the little icon came up saying that he is online.  funny.

So that's my story in a nutshell.

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