vaginismus1.myfreeforum.org

linds · Joined: 30 Jun 2009 Posts: 1

hello my name is lindsey and im getting maried in december this year how ever myself and my other half have not been able to have sex i just like freeze up and he cant enter and one the one time he managed even a tiny bit it stung so bad for days after . we are wanting to start trying for a baby this year but if i cant sort myself out i cant see it happening. im not even sure if it is vaginismus but from what ive read it sounds alot like me my musles just tense up

admin · Site Admin Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 405

Hi Linds,
what you say does sound like vaginismus or if there's a lot of burning it could also be vulvar vestibulitis (check out on the website, in the section for Doctors).

That said, I think the most stressful thing for you right now would be that of wanting to fix this BEFORE your wedding day, am I wrong ?

I mean, I hope you decide to give your vagina all the time it needs.
It may happen before your wedding day or not, it shouldn't really matter.
It seems like your partner doesn't really care whether or not you can have sex, he's marrying you anyway and that's great as long as he too doesn't have high hopes that on your wedding day you'll be good and ready.

you both need to take this in stride and try and understand what may have caused it.

You said you want to have a child soon.
maybe your body is telling you that you (or your partner!) is not ready for that, in many ways (physically or psychologically etc..)
have you considered that possibility?

Anyway, take a good look at the articles on the site, play by ear and let us know how things go and ask anything...

take care

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"Vaginismus isn't the problem, the way society looks at sex is"