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admin

Websites mentioning vaginismus with misleading statements

Hello everyone.
We are considering making a list of all pages on vaginismus that can be found online and see what myths they still hold, which wrong data they report or what negative attitude they may have towards it.

there are hundreds of websites MENTIONING vaginismus by now
(thanks to the massive work of raising awareness that was done in the past few years by many women), but many of them are appalling so it's good for them to know they will be spotted, so they can be more careful or fix the mistakes.

But we need all your help.

If you came across any website where vaginismus was mentioned and something quite wrong was said, please send us the link here and your comments on what you perceived as bad/false/deceiving etc.

We'll start with an example:
----------------------------------
" Vaginismus
is a debilitating disease in women"

http://www.ehow.com/how_2162803_live-with-vaginismus.html"

Dysfunction is a bad enough term, but disease ???
Give us a break..
-----------------------------------
thomas_pancake

heyy, so not to rip on your own site, but i find the "Vaginismus in the Media" section to to be very painful to read.  it's not so much misleading as a harsh, and i feel, unnecessary exercise in societal misconceptions that will probably never be truly resolved.  i already have enough issues with self esteem as a result of vaginismus, and lines like "However, he waits on his reluctant wife hand and foot, nursing her through her struggle with an imaginary illness" and "It went without saying that such a willing partner was hard to find" do nothing to improve this.  Even if you do explain afterwards that these misconceptions are wrong, it's difficult to read them knowing that your own boyfriend may be thinking the same thing.

just sayin'.
admin

Thank you for sharing those feelings.

First of all, let me point out that the sentence  that hurt you

"However, he waits on his reluctant wife hand and foot, nursing her through her struggle with an imaginary illness"  

was not written by us but is what can be found on their website
and that we reported in inverted commas  as their quotation.

You could have come across that site or video and you would have
seen the same sentence, only, without any kind of criticism.

So I just wonder, would you prefer we did not mention
sentences we find appalling in the media ?

Or are you saying we should rephrase the ones that could
sound very hurtful for someone who is at the beginning of the process
of realizing that you can be fully loved even with vag?

Please let us know.

As for the other statement, that I can't find right now, I think
that too was a quotation that we reported to see how totally
unfair and not true  that was again.

In case you still need to find reassurance that there are INDEED
decent men out there who DO fall in love with women and love them
a great deal whether or not they can have intercourse with them,
well, I can recommend you read the interview with a partner or
other articles in that section.


By the way, anyone else has any take on that page ?
just curious now.

bye
sara

I didn't like the very clinical approach of the eHow article or the statement "Do not attempt to treat vaginismus on your own."  It seemed to have a very PROBLEM-that-must-be-FIXED sort of attitude.  That said, I think some visibility for vaginismus is better than none.  I'm of the camp that says getting people aware of vag and talking about it is a good thing.

And, btw, there's a quote mark after the .html and it makes the link not work...  I had to paste it into my browser and then delete the quote.

I look forward to seeing what other sites we can discuss here...  Smile
sara

Oops... I think you were asking for thoughts on the page on the VAN website and I just rambled about the eHow article.  Sorry.  : Embarassed I'll go reread that page and come up with more intelligent comments...
admin

Sorry.
Which one is the ehow article you were mentioning ?
I can't find it in the article on Vag. in the media.
Elizabeth

I think Sara's referring to the example you gave in the first post of this thread.
Mercy

Vag in the Media page

Hmmmm. I am still thinking about this issue that thomas_pancake raised.

People who are at the beginning of healing from vag can be very tender indeed. And having a page pointing out the harsh realities of the rest of the world could make the VAN site less of a safe place.

But on the other hand, if the VAN site doesn't point out the misconceptions and mistakes in other websites, who will?

It seems to me that the "Vag in the Media" page might be something that people just learning about vag would want to avoid reading. But it is something that people who are well on their way down the vag path and have become vag activists care about a lot.

Maybe a compromise would be to have some kind of warning at the top of that page that it may be upsetting to people just starting out. Or some way of warning those who are feeling especially vulnerable.

Mercy
admin

That's a good idea Mercy. We'll try to add it there soon.

And thank you Elizabeth for pointing out which article Sara
was referring to.

what a fool!  I thought she was referring to the vag in the media page
so I didn' t go back to the original post.

Thanks!

Smile
sara

Yep, I was referring to the original post... I got confused and for some reason thought the other poster was responding to something on that article, so I decided to check out that article myself.  Sorry for the confusion!
admin

Sara (OT) Saying "sorry" is forbidden on this forum Smile
we are very understanding and women say sorry way too
often already.

Jokes aside. My partner fines me each time I say sorry to him Smile
I greatly reduced the times I say it now.

Smile
sara

What a delightful attitude!  I will keep it in mind... Smile

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