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biscotte32

I DONT want to be cured!

Hi
I have been living with vaginismus for years execpt i wasn't aware of it!

I think it started after i stopped taking birth control pills.

I started having sex a bit young (14 years old). My boyfriend wasn't very understanding and being immature and inexperienced himself (he was 17 years old), things got from bad to worse.
After a while I felt he was only staying with me because of sex.
So when i announced to him i was stopping the pill, he dumped me!!

We got back together after a few weeks, but with the understanding that i would only start taking the pill again in a few months.
So meanwhile, we started having sex without intercourse.
I never took the pill again and to this day, we still have great sex without intercourse. ( i am now 33 years old) .

About 2 years ago, i started thinking that maybe i would like to try intercourse again. I was worried about how i would feel afterward. I remember when i was young, how lonely i felt DURING intercourse, and then how sad and lonely i felt AFTER.

After talking it over with my husband, we decided to try just a little bit IF we felt like it during sex.
We tried a little bit, but it wouldn't go in at all.
We did not worry about it, and just went back to our usual way.

Then one day I was watching a tv show called spa of embarasing illness. One girl was all distressed because of vaginal clamping. She didnt want to get married before it was fixed.
Then i tought, is THAT what i have?!
At the time i had just thought it was my own body refusing to cooperate because it had been a long time since i had real intercourse. Then one time out of curiosity i tried inserting something in there just to see how it would react. It would go in about 2 inches and then it felt like the vagina ended there. Like there was a wall.

Well, i didnt worry about it. But when i saw it on the tv show i was surprised to see someone else had that same symptom.

What didnt make sense to me was the way the girl on the show wanted to fix it. My husband and i just kept saying, why cant she get married?! Intercourse is just a very small part of sex. What is the matter with those people?!

Anyway, after finding the vaginismus website, it all made sense to me. Everything that i sort of figured out about my body seemed to be confirmed on this site.
My vagina is closed to intercourse (fingers ok, penis no). My body  knows this experience caused me a lot of pain when i was younger and it knows it is not worth risking throwing all my good non-intercourse experience out the window just for the sake of 'trying' something new or something that is SUPPOSED to be normal.

My husband and i have been together for 19 years now, and despite our rocky teenager sex experience, we have been having great non-intercourse sex for many years. We are extremely  close and i think it is partly because of our special sex life. It made us talk things out a lot more than regular couples, and it makes us consider each other's feelings more.
We have very high standards for our happiness. If there is something wrong, we work at it UNTIL it is fine with BOTH of us.

Yes i have vaginismus, but i have other things to do with my life than obsess about it and try to fix it.
There is nothing to fix!

And people who say sex without intercourse it not REAL sex are CRAZY!
Two people naked in bed together giving each other orgasms... I woudn't call that filing your taxes... I would call that ... humm... let me think... SEX!

And for the therapist who said my husband would leave me because we dont have intercourse: I AM STILL HAPPILY MARRIED. The therapist by the way, is DIVORCED.

And to the naturopathe who said my husband was PATIENT because we are not having intercourse: I AM STILL HAPPILY MARRIED. She, by the way is DIVORCED TWICE.

So if you think intercourse matters THAT MUCH in a relation ship, THINK AGAIN.

Have a great day everybody!

Diane
admin

[quote]And people who say sex without intercourse it not REAL sex are CRAZY!
Two people naked in bed together giving each other orgasms... I woudn't call that filing your taxes... I would call that ... humm... let me think... SEX!

And for the therapist who said my husband would leave me because we dont have intercourse: I AM STILL HAPPILY MARRIED. The therapist by the way, is DIVORCED.

And to the naturopathe who said my husband was PATIENT because we are not having intercourse: I AM STILL HAPPILY MARRIED. She, by the way is DIVORCED TWICE.[/quote]

LOL  Fantastic !!
I love your sense of humour and am so glad you've found us!!

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