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Alcohol and Vaginismus

I was wondering what the thoughts are on alcohol use for the purposes of reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation in individuals with vaginismus. When I was first discovering my issues with sex, a lot of people recommended that I get a little tipsy before trying again - even my doctor suggested this. It's also common in fictional representations of "the first time" that a girl who is having trouble relaxing finds things easier after a few drinks.

This method has never been very useful for me - I found myself just as tense in sexual situations and especially emotional in the event of what I considered "failure." I've been dilating recently, and it's going very well (I'm up to the 4th of 8 dilators!). As an experiment, I tried dilating after having a few drinks. It was not at all effective. I've realized that it's a part of the trust I've built with my body to be fully aware through the entire process of dilation. I stopped immediately and haven't repeated the experiment.

Has anyone else had similar or different experiences? Is alcohol commonly suggested for women with vaginismus?

Cen, what an interesting topic you brought up.

 yes, women are advised to get "tipsy" (or more) way too often or even if nobody actually tells them,   that's how they often get themselves to have sex, by stoning themselves in all sorts of ways.

it's all so utterly tragic I think..

True, your body may get a bit softer and defences may be lowered
but as you said,  that's because with alcohol or drugs or valium etc
we are actually fooling OUR OWN BODY, we are tricking our OWN DEFENSES,  we  are telling ourselves we do not trust our body' response,
we don't trust our defenses..

It's suicide...

cause obviously then it's the body that stops trusting us.
OR, even worse,  we manage in fooling our body and tricking
our defenses and then we end up in trouble...
sometimes huge troubles..
life-lasting troubles..

So,  the word "awareness" in our website title  is not just there to mean raising knowledge of vaginismus,  it's there cause women need to become more aware of what's behind their vaginismus and fix their broken relationship with their body before they fix vag. itself...

Anyway, this was a long reply!
Thank you for bringing this up.

I'm very glad you have a smart body that resisted your attempt to fool it with some alcohol.


In the very moment you use alcohol to solve whatever problem you are stepping in line with all the other people on their way to addiction. Using alcohol in this kind of way is very dangerous!

Still... that's what my first gyno recommended. "Drink a glass of wine, it'll help you relax".
She had no idea about vaginismus and I didn't either. So my problem didn't have a name then, it was just "he could not get in".
Desperated as I was I tried it, even though I was not used to drinking alcohol at all. Of course it didn't work, and I never saw that gyno again.

Years later I read an article about alcohol and vaginismus and it said that the muscles will not relax to that extend that vaginismus will be "neutralised". I don't know if that is true, I just know it didn't work for me, and it is not the right way for me.

It's just like the admin said. Alcohol, medication, Botox etc - you are fooling your body and ignoring its message, and maybe even heading for addiction. In my eyes, this is violence against your own body.

Alcohol boosts neither my sex drive nor my ability to have sex despite being told otherwise and being on the end of extensive peer preassure to try. It has got me a lot of my drinks bought as part of their "experimenting" so I can't entirely complain.





You'd better stop taking all kinds of bullshit and start with treatment that helped most of us. Drugs won't.



Dilating probably won't, but pelvic floor training will help you to relax the muscle consciously.

What you describe is not a physical problem. Impossible gynaecological examinations are the only problem that is left of my severe vaginismus, and I had to be examined under anaesthesia a short while ago - they didn't use any muscle relaxants.
It's an unconscious reaction of your brain to make your vagina close down, to prevent you from further pain. To a certain degree, this reaction is normal. If you train to open up consciously, the unconscious reaction will become less intense, or it will even be prevented.




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